so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
