I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
