So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
