nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
