Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
