I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
