I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
