Already got asked if we're dating
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize