STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
