just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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