Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
