I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
