i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
