I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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