It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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