How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
