how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
