fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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