Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I am morally bankrupt
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize