so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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