We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
