i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
