I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
