ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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