Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
