I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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