Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
