i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
