well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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