if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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