He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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