I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
