We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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