don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You're like the curious george of whores
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
