Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
