maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
time to smoke my breakfast
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
