What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
