i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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