You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
