yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
