Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
