I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Randomize
