so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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