i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
