Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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