I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
