so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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