I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
