ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
