I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
