dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
