I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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