god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
