and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
