This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
