went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
