the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do herpes really smell.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
