Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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