I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
