If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
